Explanation

Depending how good you know me, You know that i am pretty negative in short. Maybe depressed i dunno.
Anyway back on topic:
This is how i tried to explain it to my one off my best friends:

you were the last person i had to tell it to personal
for me to have fun in sl i need to change
and i dont think i can
i am tired of being lonely
i thought i could handle it
but its only making me more crazy
and the events in my rl arent helping either
there are still a few things that are kinda fun to do in sl
but they don weigh up to the rest
its like everyone and everything is changing and moving on but im still the same
thats kinda how it feels for me now
i don’t know if that explains it right but its the best i can

In other words i am taking a break from sl. I might be online once in a while but don’t count on it.
Right now i just need to get myself together and solve some problems in my rl.
I thought about it for a while to quit with sl but i can’t and i don’t want that. Because that doesn’t help to solve my problems.
The last while in sl pretty much sucked. But i have had enough fun and learning experiences in the past. If i haven’t had made some decisions in the past i would not have been where i am today. Every choise you make has a consequence if you like it or not.
Like i said before to have fun sl i need to change. I don’t think i can. Well still am going to try to change i don’t give up that easy

Update 08-Jan-10

Today my problems in rl only became bigger, since my dad is in the hospital now and needs to have a oparation or something i dunno yet since my mom left real quick. And here i thought taking a break would give me some time to solve my problems.

Update 11-Jan-10

My dad is doing ok now and is almost back to normal
In the weekend i have been online a few times for a short while to take care off somethings.
I have been working on a new skin which is almost done and looks hot

Update 18-Jan-10

No I’m not back had to take care off some business this weekend. Won’t be online anytime soon I’m to busy with work and school next weekend i really wont be online. I don’t have time to talk much coz im just totaly tired from working.

Watch this post for updates.

If you need to contact me for something while im gone: catinka.anatine@gmail.com

Anna:

yay so finally after a few weeks i released my skin. Im pretty happy about it.
with the package i made for it you get the following:
6 skins and 2 bonus skins (4 skins in total with 2 brow options)
3 eyelashes
1 shape
1 eyes
1 browshape

Its availble at my place and on xstreetsl

How Come – D12

What can i say i listen to a lot of music styles hehe. Anyway this one is still cool used to listen to this album alot when i was still on high school with my friends. Who now offcourse aren’t my friends anymore. Still this was the best song on the whole cd imo.

[Eminem:] So I changed huh? You got a phone, pick it up, call me

[Chorus: Eminem]
How come we don’t even talk no more
And you don’t even call no more
We don’t barely keep in touch at all
And I don’t even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grape vine we even beefing now
After all the years we been down
Ain’t no way no how, this bullshit can’t be true
We family and ain’t a damn thing changed, unless it’s you

[Verse 1: Eminem]
So young, so full of life in vibrant side by side wherever you was ridin’ I went
So close, almost on some Bonnie and Clyde shit
When Ronnie died you were right by my side with a shoulder to cry on
Tissue to wipe my eyes, and a bucket to catch every tear I cried inside it
You even had the same type of childhood I did
Sometimes I just want to know why is it that you surcame to yours
And mine I survived it, you ran the streets, I 9 to 5′d it
We grew up, grew apart, as time went by us, then I blew up
To both yours and mine surprises
Now I feel the vibe I just cant describe it
As much as your pride tries to hide it
Your cold, you touch its like ice
In your eyes is the look of resentment
I can sense it, and I don’t like it

[Chorus]

[Verse 2: Kon Artis]
It was my dream at first to be on spitting a verse
On my own album with a deal but shit got worse
So I came out I would’ve killed a nigga first
Before I let him disrespect me and check me over some worst
Some bitch that I wasn’t with I would hit her then quit
But you would pull a talk with her and tell her she was the shit
I told you don’t get involved in it, you was smoking the chron with her
Coming out of the bar with her stumbling half drunk
Like you all was husband and wife or something
But me catching her fucking other niggers must’ve hurt you pride or something
’cause you won’t fuck at the mouth with people like you wanted with me
When all I tried to do was show you that your bitch was shifty
And ever since the fans and all the shit that I produced
You’re acting like I ain’t your man and lying like she can’t be loose
But I am really you friend, I’m just trying to tell you the truth
But don’t hate the game or the player
’cause the one that is changing is you

[Chorus]

[Verse 3: Proof]
You’re only at the top ’cause my homie had to stop
Now we acting like I gotta live only for the block
Homies in the hood only she be on the tube
Only gossip on the porch get to speaking on who
Fools I used to rap with all expect magic
Like my finger get to snapping and *poof* it just happen
But PROOF is just acting out the party was stoned
Shady made it so my babies ain’t starving at home
See the devil in you grin since the ghetto we been friends
Whenever real intelligence that’s forever till the end
I be the hatred in your eyes and the Satan in your lives
And wasting my times with these snakes in disguise
(how come) when you talk its with bitter and spite
And (how come) it’s my fault for what you did with your life
And everytime I go to hear you and play you look away
We barely embrace, you can’t even look me in my face.

[Chorus]

Sunday 24 Jan 2010

Taking a break from SL really was a good idea from me. It made me think a lot more about things. And i managed to finish somethings at my school: Last friday i totaly did something that i really doubt was possible. I had to finish my last report. And after having to listen to the teachers critique for weeks i paid attention to it. So i gave him my report this friday and i totaly had improved all things were he had critique on with the previous ones. It comes down to this friday i got a 9/10 for it he totaly didnt know what to say lol. anyway the point is sometimes its worth it that you listen to people and not just think that they are talking shit.

When my break first started i did wow (world of warcraft) a lot i made it to level 48 or 49 can’t remember but one thing you notice right away is that those people have no respect whatsoever. People are fucking all over the place i wonder if they can even have a normal conversation without having to use the word fuck. wow is boring, everything is pretty much the same as the rest of what you need to do. So i quit with that.

The last few days i have been watching on the forums from SL but if i see how it gets used and how people talk to eachother its kinda the same as wow. With wow half the people can use the excuse that they are kids. With SL that fails.
Really why can’t people just show respect to eachother and have a normal conversation. Like adults which i hope most people are.
Yeah so you might have diffrent opinions about something that doesn’t mean you can’t be respectfull to eachother. If people would just take the time to listen to eachother and be nice SL could be a better place then it is today. And really people should complain a lot less. I know that will never happen lol. Point is sometimes people need to wake up and realise what they are doing. And with this someone might wakeup.

Everyone makes mistakes. So do i it’s one off the reasons i took a step away from SL. Right now my RL is pretty normal again and somedays i’m pretty happy about the things i managed to do. In short it really helped that i took a break from SL. Sometimes you just need to do that to work things out. Overall i think i changed a lot in the last few weeks hehe And that i’m a lot more mature then i was before. Enough talk for today.
Still not going back to SL, but might be online friday and saturday coming week.

( i need to write a lot off stuff sometimes because a friend once told me if she readed my blog she could sleep better so this always has a point. )

In the waiting line – Zero7

Got this song from a friend and its cool

Wait in line
‘Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me

Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see

Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time

Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can

Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn’t seem to be anybody else who agrees with me

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Ah and I’ll shout and I’ll scream
But I’d rather not be seen
And I’ll hide away for another day

Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see

Everyone’s saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone’s taking everything they can
Everything they can